Grand Cayman

A six-day escape from reality.

DISCLAIMER: We are in no way responsible for extreme envy after viewing these photos. Please use caution before moving ahead.

The weather channel was predicting another extremely cold week in Michigan. I’m really not a fan of winter or the low temps it brings. Something had to be done. I cleared six days from my work schedule & the travel arrangements were made. Courtney (the babies momma), My Father (the tour guide/big brother/personal trainer) & I set off for the white sandy beaches of Grand Cayman.

The cheapest plane tickets we could find left us with a brief overnight layover in Atlanta. Courtney booked us some great rooms at the ATL Airport Hilton. Early the next morning we we’re finally aboard the last leg of our journey.

Paradise.

One huge detail in choosing the Cayman Islands as our holiday was to visit my Grandparents who reside on the island almost half the year. They we’re at the airport ready to greet us when we arrived. Once the Sebring convertible rental car was ready we followed them to Coconut Joe’s for lunch. After some hot food and cold beers it was over to the crib we’d be staying at. My Grands own and rent a condo over-looking Seven Mile Beach & the Caribbean Sea so the accommodations couldn’t have been more convenient.

Day one was all about getting to the beach and exploring our new surroundings. We couldn’t get our swimsuits on and pour our drinks quick enough.

This was it. The big pay off… Consistent 85-degree sunshine, the sounds of the ocean, the absence of technology, island inspired crunk juice, everything I could have hoped for.

Courtney started her hunt for exotic shells along the beach.

You can’t beat the isolation. If you want a crowded beach this isn’t it.

Sampling the native fashions.

The first day melts into the sea.

Shot one of a booze fueled photo experiment.

30 Second exposures in the dark with a full moon.

Pool side after some exaggerated photo chopping.

Same shot before the massacre.

Day Two.

Courtney looks surprised.

Interior of the crib with the my “trainer” taking a nap after our five mile morning beach walk.

Back to the Corona commercial set to relax and swim .

Courtney’s cute no matter how bad her roots get.

A few hours later and still roughing it.

My Grandma came down to the beach for a visit.

Chameleon Dragon.

Iguana Dragon.

My personal trainer showing Courtney how to conserve water by drinking a bucket of Red Stripe before dinner.

Day Three. Super bowl Sunday.

The snorkeling gear gets some use. Courtney learns to breathe underwater and the fish want to eat her.

The Ocean Piranhas couldn’t get enough.

We packed up for a drive around the island to visit my Grandpa’s Jurassic Park Plantation. In Cayman you drive on the left side. If you ever get confused just let go and the car will decide what to do.

This is his sanctuary. I’ve always heard him tell stories of this place. It was great to finally see all his work in person.

Bananas, star fruit, and papaya thrive here.

Some of the plants have insanely huge thorns covering their trunks. Punishment sticks.

The Super Bowl is always a great excuse to party even if you’re not a football fan. The Aqua Beach outdoor bar was hosting the testosterone bro down.

Just about every wall inside and out had projection screen game coverage.

These were defiantly the best seats in the house.

The place was packed with wild people from all around the world. Courtney and a couple dudes from England that lost an embarrassing bet.

ZOOTIME had some great innovative beer handling techniques but every so often he’d spill his top.

We even met a few others from the mitten state and celebrated with goldschlager shots.

Near night’s end, Courtney’s drinks started dressing themselves.

Day Four.

The Black Pearl.

For no rhyme or reason Grand Cayman is home to one of the World’s largest outdoor concrete skateparks. It doesn’t make sense, something so perfect and no one there to enjoy it.

I’d heard rumors about this park a couple years ago and they blew my mind. After some research a few weeks prior to my vacation. I found out the Black Pearl doesn’t allow bikes in the park but decided to bring it along anyway. I figured if I showed up with my bike at least there would be hope.

Obviously this park wasn’t just slapped together with a carwash fundraiser. Millions of dollars and intricate detail went into every corner. I showed up in the morning looking for the owner who’s name I found out from the local bar. In the meantime I skated the massive rock until I found him.

After talking it up for a bit he gave me the okay. This is by far hands down the best park I’ve ever rode.

You could ride it everyday for a week and never do the same line twice.

My Dad snapped these photos of me.

So fun. It would be worth traveling to Cayman just to ride this place.

Even Courtney wanted to give it a go.

After the skatepark session we journey to Rum Pointe around to the islands other side. We snorkeled around the reef and met up with my Cousin who arrived earlier that day.

You can get anywhere from here.

I found a bamboo walking, sword, air guitar, stick washed up on the beach.

Courtney found a conch shell.

Another perfect sunset.

That night we went out to eat with everyone and got to hear how my cousin Jim & his Fiancé snuck into first class on the flight down.

Day Five.

The beach walk pub crawl.

This was the day we had been training so hard all week for. The bods were fit, tan, and ready for quenching. The mission was to walk down the shore 4 miles and stop at every beach bar on the way back up consuming potent long islands and rumrunners.

Our personal trainer had confidence that we were ready to conquer and defeat!

Our four previous days of grueling drinking conditions had us ready for bottle battle.

Our first victory at The Battle of Treasure island.

The Royal Palms & Marriott Resort felt our wrath. It wasn’t long until others caught on and our army grew.

We left the Seven Mile Beach Bar dry.

On our way towards the next waterhole we met up with Andrew who provided our theme music into the battle at The Ritz-Carlton. They didn’t appreciate our cause so before we got the boot it was necessary to add urinary relief fluids to the pool.

Courtney gave Andrew proper ranking with an honorable inversed Michigan Tattoo.

By the time we reached the Westin you could defiantly tell Courtney was fighting hard.

The missions were successfully accomplished right down to the last fight at Calico Jack’s. The training defiantly came through during the roughest of cocktails. We beat the odds and live to tell. Seven Mile Beach Legends.

Later that night the Cousins came out to our side of the island for dinner. Jim flaunts his worldly nacho cluster.

The last supper.

Day Six.

In a blink of eye the week came and went. But before we go home we decided to go to Hell.

Hell is a tourist trap town in Cayman where you can stand in front of Satan and have him hump on you for a photo.

Look at her, she loves it.

The rocks in the background are supposed to resemble the surface of Hell.

Gift Shop/Hangout/Post Office. Hell does it all!

On the way back My Dad took some wrong turns and we ended up taking the Sebring off road through truck trails.

Both sides of the road were snake and croc infested mangrove swamps. Thankfully we made it out with both legs.

With only a couple hours left before we needed to catch our flight home we made a last visit to the ocean.

My mask really brings out the joker inside & I found a box of slam brand condoms. An island standard.

Courtney hoping she doesn’t see any sharks.

Taking a dive.

Going home from a vacation is never something to look forward too. If it wasn’t for Jayden I think we would’ve tried to stay another month.

The end of the line.

Thank you.

JG